As a relative newcomer to urban agronomy but a very experienced practitioner of cynicism, crypto-radicalism, and anti-everythingism, I knew already that the current corporate approach to commercial seed-and-plant selling was doomed and damned. It's a fact that many commercial seeds and plants are bred for appearance and not function, and that many of them are genetically designed to be infertile.
However, there is another practice in which I am highly experienced : that of doing things at the last minute. So, when I realized that planting season was upon me and that there was very little bee activity in my food-production area, I zoomed out and hastily bought a lot of started flowers in an attempt to bring th' bees over to where I wanted them. I spent about $75 (that's my strychnine money for a whole week) on snapdragons from Home Depot and marigolds and petunias from Whitfill's Nursery. I planted the suckers in my two containers and in sunken beds that I'd freshly dug, interspersed appropriately with my early food crops' seeds and transplants. I figured that since they'd been locally grown (all were marked with Arizona grow sites) that they'd be 'native' enough to be appropriate for my application. [dun dun duuum!]
Now, there is a big mass of weedy flowering plants on the other side of my yard that is always full of bees, so I figured that a few smart bees were likely to venture over to the new beds and find their tasty flower snax. [Why didn't I just plant my food crops closer to the existing flowers, you ask? It's because there's not enough shade / light filtration in that area for the crops I'm growing.]
I planted the things, and kept them well-watered with a buried soaker hose, and was ready for a bee essplosion!
So imagine my surprise when I watched bee after sleepy bee buzz around and sniff these new flowers, only to turn up their noses at them and pass by without landing! I was like WHAAAT
Meanwhile, the weedy flowering plants on the other side were budding more flowers and attracting more bees than ever. What the snake was wrong?
Here's what's wrong. Instead of planning ahead and planting native wildflowers earlier, I decided to cut corners and buy commerical garbage varieties of subspecies from other states that have nothing to do with my climate and also are unfamiliar to the local insect population (and being sold as ornamentals, may even be engineered to repel insects). See, bees and other benefical critters know to look for plants that grow normally in their area. And when they see and smell a native plant, they know it's good eatin'. But when they see a non-native blooms, they're like "well what is that" and sometimes they don't even recognize it as a potential nectar source. Even if they do recognize it as a flower, its alien smell will not likely entice the little beastie to munch. It's like if you put a big dish of palak paneer in front of a Wyoming cowboy. They'll just be like "now whut in tarnation is that racket" and move on.
So, I then spent all night doing what I should have done way earlier : I dug up some new sunken beds and sowed them with all-native desert wildflower seeds from http://NativeSeeds.org .
There are two lessons here. 1) Don't be lazy and then try to do everything in a quick-fix panic state. 2) Buy only native plant and flower varieties because your local beneficial insect population will know what to do with them.
Get your urban ag cranking in 2010 -- it's not too late. (38,751)
There's a thundering hailstorm in Phoenix today, sending drops of frozen hate clattering across the skylight and beating the life out of weak trees. On the outskirts of my peripheral vision, I caught a glimpse of something white and jagged -- the future.
Life as a human right now is akin to having woken up inside the chute of a woodchipper. We may not even recall how we got inside the woodchipper in the first place. The one thing that is clear : the inevitability of the blades.
A feeling like saws chewing into my neck. The sounds of weeping just outside my door. And a cold light knife into my pupil reminds me : This is a world divorced from hope.
When facing a suffocated reality of nonexistent future, what do you do? Here are some options :
1) Lie down and wait quietly for the ice weasels to come. 2) Cry until you're too tired to cry any longer, then die. 3) Fight until death. 4) Put on heavy metal records and rock out for as long as possible.
Now, I don't know which of these sounds most attractive, or which you, the reader, may already be doing. I choose option #4. Here's why :
* Metal music is brain floss. * Metal music improves blood flow to the face. * Metal music is not a norm. * Metal music has no sympathy for your suffering. * Metal music remembers when you were only an animal. * Metal music hasn't heard about your regrets, but it can drench them in molten @#$%^& * Metal music will survive long after the Universe is toast. * Metal music recognizes your true form and can restore it if lost. * Metal music connects you with that aspect of youself that you forgot about. * Metal music is truth erupting from a sea of lies.
There's no future. But with metal music, the present can be made to rock. In these bleak and doomed days, everybody looks for help. Some go to shrinks, some watch TV, and some try in futility to numb the pain with drugs. Well, you all are welcome to your 'cheese' heroin, 'lean,' and amphetamines. I'm an Earache man myself. (47,007)
The storm is coming. You've heard it on the radio; seen it on the TV show. The Latewire has been humming warnings for a long time. A dull echo catches you by the ear -- what's that? That's the sound of hope retreating. It flees because it's impossible to prepare for this kind of storm, even when it's known to be on the way.
Total dissolution of the contemporary lifestyle is about to happen. We're about to be plunged into an era of base servitude and complete debasement. We've managed to use our preference for self-enslavement to facilitate a future of real enslavement -- think "Spartacus" without the good soundtrack and with more degrading "oysters vs snails" problems.
The people who facilitated the collapse did so because the knew that their actions had made it more likely, and that if they bet against our survival, they could win big and move to Tahiti while we get introduced to a new life of total abjection.
While you're waiting, think about how much information about yourself you choose to advertise or give away. It's always used to further demolish your autonomy.
Even though it's far too late to do anything to prevent utter catastrophe, there are steps we can take in a last-ditch effort to survive and stay human: Learn new skills pronto. Trust no interface. Stop the hemorrhaging of your information. (49,230)
There are two main philosophies about how to go about planting food. The one that's dominated commercial farming for a super long time is called "monocropping." This is the practice of growing big fields of single crops -- for example, Phil the Farmer might have a hundred acres of soy beans only, and another hundred acres of corn only. Though it's possible to produce a lot of cash crops this way, there are some risks to this approach : 1) Monocropping pulls the same nutrients out of the soil over and over again, creating dry, leached soil 2) Monocropping makes it easy for pests and disease that affect the single crop to flourish, as they're not controlled by competing organisims 3) Because of the leaching and pest-promotion effects, chemical fertilizers, herbicides, and pesticides are often used in monocropping arrangements. These chemicals then leach into the groundwater below.
The competing approach to monocropping is called "companion planting." This is where more than one type of crop is planted in the same space. There are two principal reasons for doing this : 1) Crops that are 'companions' have symbiotic relationships that are mutually beneficial to each other's growth and production 2) Each crop in a 'companion' arrangement attracts its own pests and diseases, which often compete with and control those of the other crops in the companion arrangement. This helps control the proliferation of problems. -Companion planting has one big drawback that makes it a tough sell for commercial farming : it's tough to mechanically harvest companion-planted crops, as they're at different heights and whatnot. However, for the private grower, this usually doesn't present a problem. - A few of the classic companion-planting sets (or "guilds" if you want to be nerdy about it) are : -Corn, beans, squash (the so-called "three sisters") - Tomatoes, basil, marigolds - Citrus, grapes, comfrey (the latter being an herb commonly used for soil fertility and medicine) -Mesquite, melons, edible flowers (violets, nasturtium, safflower -- toast 'em with sugar). - In each of these arrangements, there's a tall shade plant (corn and tomatoes) supported by a nitrogen-fixing lower plant (beans and marigolds) and ground cover (squash, melons). 'Nitrogen-fixing' plants are those that take atmospheric nitrogen from the air and put it in the soil through their roots. This enriches the soil and makes surrounding plants grow better.
Clearly, companion planting is the choice of winners when it comes to family-scale urban food raising, There's something you want to beware of, however : cross-pollination. - Cross-pollination is where plants of the same family, such as peppers and tomatoes, exchange genetic information by having their pollen spread to each other via bees. If different crops in the same family get cross-pollinated, you will get weird monster Frankenplants that may not be very edible. This cross-pollination can also mess with your seed-saving for the next season. - So, what to do about it? Well, don't companion-plant crops in the same plant family. Also, don't plant same-family crops in the same wind-line (that is, in such a way that normal winds blowing across your site are likely to cross-polinate) or the same bee-line. Bee-lines are the linear paths bees take when flying about your site. If you observe the bees at work, you'll notice that the bee-line tends to be static and is often straight. - Note : cross-pollination doesn't affect root crops or crops eaten before flower.
If you take one idea away from this series, let it be this one : Start your urban agronomy adventure by planting crops that are native to your geography and climate. This will help you get real results in the early stages and save you from the heartbreak of trying to plant mangoes in Grand Rapids. After you've got some success with your favorite native crops, you can start to branch out and experiment with plant types from neighboring climate zones. Remember the adage "as above, as below" -- meaning that the height of your plant is mirrored in depth by the plant's root system -- and use this to guess the viability of various plants in your soil. If you're in a dry climate, you should probably wait until you have a good, moisture-retaining, humidity-producing "canopy" ecosystem (with tall shade plants / trees, ground cover, and intermediary plants) before attempting to grow wet-climate or tropical crops.
Enjoy your experience with growing your own food; it's one of the first and biggest steps to getting free of some hideously clanking institutional chains. Grow native foods, share and trade your surplus, and pass along the knowledge that you gain. Let's take back our food supply!
Addenda : - Citrus can flourish in many planting settings -- in a traditional yard arrangement, in small spaces, or potted in adequately-sized containers. Be sure to keep lemon trees away from other trees, as the lemon will choke the others out. - "Leguminous" desert trees such as mesquite and palo verde, which fix nitrogen, can crow to viable status from seed in only two years -- try it!
- Much of the above information was drawn from Heather Welch's lecture series "Designing your Vegetable Garden" as presented by the Phoenix Permaculture Guild, November 2008 (108,031)
Soil is the most important aspect of any urban agriculture setup. It's the soil that nourishes the crops, and so it's important to understand its composition. As mentioned in the previous section, geologically speaking, soil is composed of sand, silt, clay, organic matter, water, and air. For effective food production, the soil must have enough sand for drainage, enough silt (a sediment often originating from glacial erosion), clay, and organic matter for nutrition, and be sufficiently moist and loose for planting. In high-quality soil, all these components are balanced to create a highly desirable soil type known as "humus." [not to be confused with "hummus," though I've eaten at some restaurants that don't seem to acknowledge the difference]
The chemical makeup of soil varies greatly by region and site, and influences the growing characteristics of what's planted there. Three of the most important elements present in soil and their roles are : - Nitrogen : helps green growth - Phosphorus : helps fruiting, flowering, and root development - Potassium : helps plants resist disease and drought Together, these three elements are called "NPK," and their concentrations in a soil are a key part of assessing site suitability. Other elements are also vital ro plant growth. In the Southwest United States, soils tend to be lacking in phosphorus, manganese, boron, and zinc. Liberal application of high-quality compost and mulch will generally solve these problems, though there are element-specific amendments available (see note below).
Beginning to Plant
It's vital to consider your local climate when planning your urban ag adventure. Arizonans are lucky in that the planting season there is year-round. Check out this planting calendar put together by the Phoenix Permaculture Guild, especially if you live in an arid climate : http://bit.ly/UIWwN
Regional climates are generally discussed in terms of "climate zones." Each "zone" indicates a specific "hardiness" level that plants are recommended to have for planting in that zone. Most commercial seeds are clearly labeled with zone recommendations. The greater Phoenix area is "zone 9b," for example; this corresponds with a "low desert" climate. It's wise to choose plants that are known to thrive in your climate zone -- native plants or plants from seed that are marked as OK for your zone (one zone "higher" is generally OK -- for example, zones 9 and 10 are usually OK in Phoenix). Note, however, that seeds for which your climate is on the outer range (for Phoenix, that'd be like a seed packed labeled "Zones 3 to 9") are not a very safe bet. It's best to pick seeds for which your climate fall in a moderate range ("Zones 6 through 9").
Seeds and Transplants
Most seeds take 7 to 14 days to germinate, and then they have to sprout and grow. 60 to 90 days of growing are then needed before the plant will fruit. Transplants, on the other hand, are already germinated and sprouted.
Transplants are sometimes faster to grow, but there are factors you'll want to consider before opting for transplants : After transplantation, "buffer time" is needed for the plant to acclimate itself to its new environment, as each transplantation diminishes its resistance to drought, disease, and pests for a time until the plant recovers from the transplantation "shock". Accounting for this, leafy greens generally take about 30 days to grow after transplantation; fruiting plants, 90 days; and root crops, more than 90 days.
The bottom line is that it's generally better to grow from seed, where you'll control the entire plant life cycle. If you must start a plant indoors, try starting seed in a container of the same soil into which it'll be transplanted (the soil from your planting bed) in order to minimize the "shock" effect.
Notes on planting in November, December, January in Phoenix :
If you have seed packets that say "plant after danger of frost," that means winter planting in Phoenix. This is the time to plant what other people call "early spring vegetables." If you hear a warning of frost (rare, but it happens), just cover the plants with lightweight material (newspaper, old bedsheets, etc) by nightfall, preferably over a simple frame or stake. This will slow heat loss and prevent frostbite. Be sure to remove the cover in the morning.
Asparagus (note : must grow for one full year before you eat it), lettuce, broccoli, cauliflower, potatoes, and other traditional "spring" crops are ideal to plant at this time. Seed packet instructions indicating "warm" climate mean Arizona fall through spring -- not summer.
Potatoes and root crops are best grown in loose, well-drained soil; mulch can be added to the soil to improve drainage. For potatoes, cut up the seed potatoes into one-inch pieces (this small cutting encourages them to grow quickly) , place the seed potato cutting eye-up in a depression you've made in the soil, and cover with a mound of mulchy soil. Keep the mound well-watered. When the flowers begin to bloom, you can start "robbing" new potatoes (don't take too many at once or the plant will wig out).
Notes on planting in February and March in Phoenix :
February and March are the times to plant what other people call "summer crops." These include tomotoes, peppers, okra, eggplant, melons, squash, and similar items. These need to germinate in cool 70-to-80-degree conditions and flower before the temperature hits 90 degrees. Plant early to encourage strong root systems, because a summer harvest demands roots that will bring in plenty of water and nutrients to support the plant. Don't plant late! Leave the plants in after harvest to keep weeds away and promote soil health.
A note on soil amendments :
In order to get your leached, weak soil up to snuff for planting food, you'll need to supplement its composition with "amendments" -- that is, additives. Now, many people use chemical fertilizers and such to boost productivity, but not only is that approach expensive, but it can have grave effects on your soil health in the long run and plants in the short run. Chemical fertilizers, which generally contain a lot of potassium and nitrogen, can degrade your soil's quality by increasing its salinity and raising its pH to high levels of alkalinity (these factors are worst in arid climates), and can lead to "fertilizer burn" (the symptom of which is leaf tips turnign yellow), which damages crops.
Therefore, it's best to avoid these chemical amendments altogether and stick with quality compost that you know is free of chemical rubbish. Compost will feed the crops with a broad menu of needed elements, at concentrations that are healthful for both the plants and the soil. Plan your urban agriculture setup well and with a mind toward growing region-appropriate crops, avoid monocropping in favor of rotational and companion planting, and apply sufficient compost, and you should never require the use of man-made chemical amendments.
In addition to traditional compost and compost tea, a very effective natural soil amendment is work castings -- that is, worm poo. This high-powered yet safe soil amendment is available commercially; you can also get yourself a "vermiculture" setup or "worm farm" and grow your own.
There are several other "natural" amendments which are viable for urban agronomy in cases where available compost and worm castings prove insufficient. For nitrogen boost, alfalfa meal is available. For phosphorus addition, rock and colloidal phosphates (ideally added to nitrogen inputs like manure at the composting stage, but also possible to spread directly on the soil) are options; it's advisable to check to be sure that these haven't been processed in ways that might leave harsh residues.
A note on hanging gardens :
Hanging gardens are believed to have been prevalent in Babylonian and Sumerian societies. Those were some of the hippest desert civilizations of their time, so they must have been onto something. In hanging garden arrangements, the plants actually grow upside-down. Ideal candidates for this method are tomatoes, eggplants, and similar crops. Hanging gardens create shade, double your available space, cools the environs, and is generally efficient. Old or dead trees are ideal platforms for hanging gardens, but rebar structures, chicken coops, and big fences serve very well. Terra cotta pots with a hole in the bottom can function as hanging planters.
Part 4 coming soon
The bulk of this information is drawn from the lecture series "Designing A Vegetable Garden" as presented by Heather Welch at the Phoenix Permaculture Guild (89,614)
One of the principal advantages of the current recession is that people don't have enough money to participate fully in the worldwide slave culture and survive at the same time. That is, it's hard to afford a Range Rover at $800 per month, gym membership, endless Doritos, Tyson Chicken Nuggets, and Pop Tarts, new Polo brand sweaters, golf fees, and your 'Second Life' subscription along with mortgage / rent when you have no job or have moved from VP to Gap salesperson. Folks are just having to cut back, and like it or not, that means buying less stuff and doing more for yourself.
It seems like nobody wants to think about being a slave, but sometimes a boot to the head is needed to motivate the slothful, and unemployment is a darn fine boot. When a person is suddenly avulsed from the cash teat to which they'd become so well used, there's a period of initial shock followed by a gradual rediscovery of important things, namely, that the exceedingly scarce time that humans are permitted to live has real value and that cash-for-time is a situation of rapidly diminishing marginal returns, and that most of the things we've been paying others to do can be done ourselves. These realizations are the first glimmers of reality that break through the dingy stratus clouds of the slave mindset.
What is slavery? There is a short definition : Slavery is the condition of being compelled to do as you do not please.
Modern slavery as we understand it, though, is really about reliance on and servitude to institutions to whom we cede power in exchange for a perception of convenience. There are three major aspects by which we visibly participate in our own slavery :
1) Reliance on cash flow for daily survival. This is winkingly known as "living paycheck to paycheck." It is a grave condition which means that you must serve the will of people with money so that they will give you some of that money in order that you can buy goods and services you need to live at your chosen standard of living. It means that you are addicted to cash and cannot do as you see fit with your scarce time. This condition is dire and nearly universal in America and Europe.
2) Reliance on a constant inflow of imported, slave-made consumer goods offered as palliatives at very low prices by individuals having an interest in keeping you locked into the above condition. These goods are plentiful, of high quality, and have low price tags. They are offered to you as little rewards that you can give yourself for sacrificing your life to cash flow, for a dollar cost that represents whatever is left after you've purchased your monthly survival. The price is kept very low so that you can and will buy these things frequently, and the quality of these little rewards is very high for the price. These items are manufactured in conditions of literal slavery, in foreign countries. If a good is produced in China, India, Bangladesh, Indonesia, or a similar labor market, it is very likely to be made by slaves. On the issue of how these goods can be of such high quality at such low price, Jeff Cooper said : "Quality control in a slave society can be anything the commissars decide, and, of course, slave labor is a lot cheaper."
3) Reliance on foods that are expensive, imported and processed, and insufficiently nutritive. The institution of the current food supply chain, wherein we are at the mercy of those who process and deliver our food from who-in-the-hoot-knows-where and then sell it to us, is the most fundamental mechanism of control by which we are yoked. These foods are poison to our physical frames and serve to keep us up in chains.
So how does one start to break out of this terrible prison? Well, if you've lost your job, the hardest part has been done for you. For the rest of us, there are three basic steps we can take to combat the three most obvious barbs of slavery as shown above :
1) Use your time to learn new and useful skills. I'm not talking about how to win at 'Halo' here. This means learning how to do substantial things for yourself, such as changing your oil, building a chair, or writing a computer program. Don't sell every minute of your time for money and forgo self-education as a result -- this is the biggest trick of those who want to keep you in the slave-house, as it's how your reliance on institutions is assured. Everything you can't do yourself is something you have to pay them to do for you. Your skills and education are the only assets you have that can't be taken from you until you die, and you can acquire a nearly unlimited range and quantity of them. Spend only what you need to; guard your time against encroachment; save leftover cash to buy education and your freedom.
2) Do not buy new goods made by slaves -- this essentially means no goods made in 'developing countries'. Read the label! If you decide to take this seriously, you will find yourself buying very little, because all the pacifier goods are slave-made! This is true. If you need something so bad that you can't live without buying it, buy it used so that you save big and don't directly participate in the demand for slave products. New non-slave (USA, Canada, caveat emptor 'Fair Trade' goods and those from Western Europe) goods are very expensive, so you'll buy with caution. This will break you of the habit of 'retail therapy' which is used to keep you distracted from the gravity and depravity of your condition. This rule can save you vast -- vast -- sums of money that you can use to acquire new skills and break out of your slave condition.
3) Grow your own food, and anything you cannot produce, buy in the most basic poison-free form available and process it yourself. For example, you can grow plenty of vegetables on your patio or in your yard. However, you might not be able to produce sustaining amounts of staples like grain for bread, beans, hamburgers, etc. Buy (organic) whole grains and / or flour and make your own bread; buy dried beans and cook your own chili; buy organic beef and make your own burgers. Example : I eat a lot of beans as a staple food. A can of organic beans costs about $1.50 at the store, but if I buy them dry and cook them myself, the cost is about one-tenth that. The cost of bread is at least halved by making it yourself. [note : you can't really trust the 'organic' designation, as it's really just another control mechanism and a half-lie -- this is why you should try to grow everything that you can] This step can save you gargantuan amounts of money and is the most fundamental thing you can start doing right now to escape your slave condition. Apart from shelter, the most basic need you have is food. When you take control over your own food supply, you have taken back the ownership of yourself in a very real way. Remember : skills that you acquire doing this are real assets that can't be confiscated, so learning how to do these things is not a waste of time.
These three steps are simple and are not very hard to do in fact. After a month of doing them, you will be much richer and probably healthier. You will very likely find that you don't miss the things you've "given up" (Whoppers, new electronic toys, T-shirts made in Bangladesh, etc). Any earnings you forgo by guarding your time and focusing on learning new skills will be more than made up for by your cost savings on goods and food, and of course will be made up even more visibly as you deploy your new skills later. Most importantly, you will have gotten a taste of liberty and seen the signpost that points down the road to self-reliance. All you have to do then is keep walking.
Stay tuned for upcoming articles on Poison-Free eating and more urban agronomy!
So far in Urban Agriculture : the Road To Self Reliance, we've talked about composting and the utility of bees. These topics fairly easy to digest because they don't get too close, conceptually or in practice, to the Darwin-soaked reality of traditional rural farming. Today's topic, though, brings us to the DMZ-like frontier that separates recreational gardening from serious urban agriculture.
When people think about raising chickens, they generally envision Napoleon Dynamite's dollar-an-hour stint for the FFA or old Foghorn Leghorn shorts. Urban chicken raising has little relation to the stinking hell-evil that is factory farming , and doesn't much look like Warner Brothers either. Urban chickens are about harnessing symbiosis and reducing your overall cost, while breaking yet another link in the chain of modern slavery.
Animals are a pain to have around, so there'd better be a pretty good argument for getting involved with them. If you grow food for yourself, it turns out that there sure is. Adding chickens to your urban agriculture setup is not only a way to get verified poison-free eggs and / or meat, but help address certain key problems that confront the poison-free urban agronomist :
1) Chickens are a powerful pest control solution. Insects that eat crops and arthropods that bite humans are among the bigger drags for the urban farmer, and they're a natural part of the chicken diet. If you have awful leaf-munchers or hideous scorpions plaguing you, and you let some chickens run around your crops for an hour or so a day, the chickens will cold massacre the offending bugs and leave you with fewer problems. It's kind of amazing that chickens like to eat scorpions, but it's a keen fact.
2) Chicken poo will kick-start your compost with a high concentration of nitrogen. It's easy to collect from the bottom of your chicken coop.
3) Chickens scratch the ground to a depth of a couple of inches, which beneficially aerates your soil without disrupting its 'trophic levels' (more on this next time)
4) Chicken eggs, which most reasonable people consume in some form, are a valuable source of protein and effective emulsifiers for cooking. If you want poison-free eggs from the store, though, you'll have to pay in the neighborhood of $5 per dozen, which is a lot, considering that poison eggs can be had for about a buck. If you grow your own, you can get your cost per dozen down to three bucks and change.
5) Chickens can also be deployed for weed control after your crop plants are past the seedling stage, as they'll look for tender shoots popping up between your plants, and eat them.
Chickens are a key component of permaculture systems and can make your overall urban agriculture plan more efficient.
* What you need to raise chickens in the urban environment *
- Most municipalities allow citizens to keep chickens on their property. Check with your local government office to see what the regulations are for your 'hood. In Cake City, for example, you can keep up to twenty hens on any lot of 10,000 square feet or more, and on smaller lots with the notarized permission of neighbors. Note : roosters are generally illegal in urban areas because they are hella noisy. Fortunately, they're not needed at all.
-Space planning : you need at least four square feet of space per bird within the coop and seven square feet of bird in 'run space' (where the birds can roam about regularly at will). This adds up to eleven square feet of living space for every chicken you keep. Most single-family urban chicken farmers keep five to seven chickens.
-Coop construction : you have a choice between stationary coop construction and what is known as a 'chicken tractor,' which is a chicken coop that is mobile and is shifted regularly for the purpose of preparing ground for planting.
In the chicken tractor method, the chickens' scratching lightly tills the soil while the straw and droppings from the bottom of the coop compost to improve the soil quality. The coop has no bottom, which means that the chickens scratch directly on the soil and bedding. The tractor is not cleaned out, but rather picked up and moved over its width every couple of weeks to prepare the next planting bed. Advocates of the tractor method point to good crop yield and low cleaning hassle as advantages.
The stationary coop, the edges of which must be buried six inches below ground to foil burrowing mammal pests, does not have to be moved around, but must be cleaned (you can shovel the bedding shavings or straw straight into your composter).
The coop should be be built out of wood and covered with half-inch metal mesh hardware cloth -- not so-called 'chicken wire,' which invites other small birds to visit and steal all your chickens' food. Their bedding can be straw, wood shavings, or shredded newspaper (but be aware that you'll be composting the bedding, so don't use bleached or highly treated paper). In constructing the coop, you need two elevated sections : the slightly elevated 'nest boxes' (one for every 3 or 4 of chickens) where the eggs will be laid, and the 'roost,' which is simply a ladder of thick dowels and moderate incline where the chickens will sleep.
The nest boxes should be about fourteen inches on all sides and have a roof with a fairly sharp slope to prevent the birds from hanging around up there. The chickens do not sleep in the nests; they will roost on the highest available part of the coop (the roosting ladder).
Chickens need shade, so be sure that you have the coop situated in a shady spot. Many urban agriculturalists grow grape vines over the roof of stationary coops -- this both shades the birds and provides them food with fallen grapes; the vines also cool the coop. Also be aware that chickens don't like to be cold and windblown, so be sure to install a windbreak for them during cold or windy weather. Cover the coop with a blanket in cold weather so that their combs don't get frostbitten. In hot summer days, you can place frozen water bottles in the coop to help them stay cool.
Generally, coops are best designed with an enclosed / covered roost and nest space and an open 'run.' While rain doesn't bother chickens in warm climates, they prefer to sleep in enclosed roosts.
It's not advisable to let your chickens range completely free -- you'll the lose ease of composting benefit, chickens may be eaten by predators, and they'll generally just go ape in your space. A controlled forage time of an hour or so a day is recommended.
As Dr. Roe points out, chicken poo is full of microbes that are potentially dangerous to humans. For this reason, I recommend that urban agriculturalists use the stationary coop method and compost all bedding to zap the nasties. Don't forget to wash your hands after handling birds, and as always, wash produce thoroughly before eating.
-Chicken feed : you can buy commercial chicken feed ('starter' feed for chicks and 'lay pellets' for mature birds; the difference is in the higher protein content of the 'layer' feed) or feed them straight mixed grain that you buy or grow. Each chicken consumes about one-third of a pound of food per day. Now, if you're trying to be poison-free, you'll either have to shell out for organic feed or grain or grown your own feed, which requires a lot of space. You can let your chickens forage and scratch around freely; chickens will find tasty critters (insects, arthropods, and even rodents), seeds and seedlings to eat. [The also scratch to find dust to bathe in.] Now, they'll also eat your crops if left to their own devices for too long, so keep an eye on them. Chickens will also eat all your table scraps except for those on the following list :
Not to feed chickens :
-No salt or heavily salted stuff,
-No chocolate
-No avocados or other slimy stuff
-No raw potatoes
-No stuff that's gone bad
Be aware! Chickens must have food and water at all times. Put marbles or rocks in their water dish to prevent them from sitting in it. Chickens should be fed twice per day. Buy a or build a tube-type gravity feeder and waterer, and load up several of them if you go out of town for a few days. If you can get someone to check on your chickens while you're gone, do so (let them keep the eggs if they want).
The most useful chicken feeding vessels are troughs with adjustable-height legs and an 'anti-roosting wheel' at the top that prevents the birds from dawdling in their feed, which is gross.
Chickens, like all birds, have no teeth and need to be provided grit to digest their food. Crushed oyster shells are favored, and they'll get grit while foraging. You can mix one part grit to ten parts grain in their feed, or just put a handful of grit once a week.
Chickens' feed should also be supplemented with grass. Add a capful of cider vinegar to their water once a week to bolster their health.
*Getting started*
Get this : you order chicks and they come in a box. A freaking box! Different breeds produce eggs with different characteristics. 'Americana' chickens lay eggs with green shells, "Araucanas' lay blue eggs. The 'Rhode Island Reds' are favored for reliable brown egg production and mild character; the 'Barred Rock' is similarly esteemed. The 'Orpington' breed is known for high egg volume. The common commercial 'Leghorn' variety is to be avoided -- in poison-free conditions, they don't flourish and don't lay as well as the Reds. Not to mention, they're not nearly as funny as the cartoons lead us to believe. 'Bantams,' which are chickens that are pint-sized when fully grown, lay eggs just fine, but they're more likely to fly around and give you headaches. P.S. -- if you get a rooster in a box of chicks, you'll have to give it away to a farm or something. You can tell the difference between male and female chickens two ways : first, the hens are much wider with bigger breasts. Second, roosters start crowing pretty early.
You're going to need about a square foot per chick at first, indoors. Get some boxes about 2 and one-half feet tall and put a heat lamp over each, clamped to the size of the box so that they can move. . You don't need a lot of heat; a standard 65 watt incandescent bulb is a-OK. If the chicks huddle around the lamp, they're too cold; if they stick to the edges of the box, they're too hot. Their bedding should be pine shavings rather than straw at this stage, and cleaned regularly. They eat 'starter pellets' at this stage.
The temperature in their box should be about 95 Fahrenheit degrees the first week; drop the temperature five degrees each week for six successive weeks. At the end of six weeks, they are more or less grown; chickens should be in full feather before being exposed to 100-degree or higher temperatures.
You can check local classified for 'pullets,' which are chickens 10 to 12 weeks old. This can save you a little time and bread on the raising process.
Chickens start laying eggs at about 20 weeks' age, and that's the dang payoff. They'll lay very well for the first couple of years, tapering off slowly after that. Maximum life expectancy is about a decade; in Cake City, they live about five years.
*Eggs n thangs*
I was pretty surprised to discover that you don't need roosters around to get eggs from your hens. Those hens crank out eggs no matter what; the roosters' only function is to fertilize them. Chickens will start acting real friendly when they're ready to lay eggs. They'll go into the nest box to lay, and the first eggs will be very small. Egg size will gradually increase over time. Healthy chickens will lay one egg approximately every thirty-six hours, but in practice it ranges between two and six eggs per week per chicken. Egg production is mostly dictated by solar cycles, and you can fool your birds into laying more by artificially lighting the coop. Beware, though : this will exhaust your chickens.
If the chickens are reluctant to lay, you can trick them sometimes by putting golf balls in the nest boxes. They'll sit on them and eventually lay actual eggs there.
Check your chickens twice a day (feeding time is convenient for many folks) for eggs and also to observe their general health. Don't wash eggs too much after collecting them -- just wipe them off lightly with a cloth. Eggs come out of the chicken covered in an invisible natural sealant that can keep the eggs fresh for several days with no refrigeration.
To determine egg freshness before consuming them, immerse them in water. If they sink to the bottom, they are fresh, If they stand on end, they're safe but borderline -- these are OK for hard-boiling. If they float, they're rotten -- toss 'em.
Fresh eggs are uber tasty, and it's a good idea to give some to your neighbors to butter them up a little. Chickens can get noisy, and egg-sharing is a clever way to maintain goodwill.
* Chicken behaviors and health *
Chickens do weird things, largely because they have bird-brains. Understanding these behaviors will help you deal with them without being freaked out. Here's a list of some of the main chicken mood syndromes :
-The pecking order : this cliche is literal and is real -- chickens have a pretty rigid social hierarchy that is kind of gross. The alpha chicken will peck at the beta chicken, and so on down through the strata of wimpitude. This is sad, but normal. You'll see some of the lower-order chickens showing bald spots near the tail where their feathers have been pecked out; don't worry unless the bald area seems bloody. If you discover that you have a psycho chicken on your hands, one that pecks others bloody regularly or causes real injury to others, you'll have to get rid of it. Such aggro bully birds aren't good for the coop, but they make a fine stew. You can attempt to stop the pecking with 'Rooster Booster' brand product; you apply it to the victims, and the attackers detest the taste.
-Molting : chickens molt, that is, lose their feathers, during conditions of short days and low light. Molting feather loss occurs all over the body of the hen, whereas pecking loss is localized at the tail area. The birds will lay fewer eggs during the molting period.
-Getting 'broody' : sometimes, chickens will get it in their heads that they ought to have some babies. This is called 'getting broody,' and they'll mope around in the nest box. We can't have them sitting there all the time, so if they won't snap out of it, put some ice water under the next box to chill them out. Another tactic is to get a new chick and sneak it into the nest box at night -- the broody hen will raise the chick as its own.
-Flying : Most full-size chickens don't care much for flying; they're fat and heavy and flying is hard work. However, some chickens are wily and will stir up the other birds to wing. Therefore, it's wise it clip one wing of each fully grown hen. This is like getting a haircut and doesn't hurt the animals if done properly according to the sketch below. Do this when the bird is not molting, and not when the bird is very young.
-Sick chickens : if a bird acts listless and nonsocial, it's probably illin'. Likewise, if the bird is unclean with a messy 'vent' (this is the excretory orifice), it's probably sick. Once you notice this, separate the bird from the rest to prevent the spread of disease. There are bird antibiotics available, but if you use them, the eggs will be inedible for a long time. You can administer a weak solution of vinegar and water through a syringe; sometimes this helps. Since chickens only cost a couple of dollars to replace, it's not sensible to take them to veterinarians or otherwise spend a lot on them. It's best to just keep them separate, try to make them comfortable, and let nature take its course.
-Mites : chickens are susceptible to mite infestation. Mites are nasty little parasitic arthropods. A major purpose of the dust bath is to control these little buggers. The best way to get a handle on them is to buy a bag of diatomaceous earth (food-grade, not pool-grade) and put it with the chickens' grit supply and on the floor of the coop. Diatomaceous earth is in reality the tiny skeletons of animals called diatoms; these skeletons are extremely sharp but so small that they can't hurt humans or chickens. To mites, though, diatom skeletons are like deadly land mines. It's kind of sad, but these mites have to die horrible, horrible deaths so that your chickens can be healthy.
-Flies : these shouldn't be much trouble if you keep the coop clean, but diatomaceous earth can keep these under control as well.
-Stress : birds that are uncomfortable or bothered won't lay eggs. Be sure to maintain a comfortable and clean environment for them.
-Predators : the main beasties you need to worry about that might hassle your chickens are the following :
Poultry Enemy #1 : Hawks and owls. These buddies will snatch up your flock with glee if they can, which is one of the most convincing reasons to keep the birds cooped most of the time. If you just let the chix run for an hour or so and try to supervise them, you shouldn't lose many. Leave them out all day or especially at night, though, and Eddie the Owl is going to party down. Chickens are always instinctively scanning the skies for predators, so when they're out, be sure to leave the coop door open so they can get back in. Note that chickens don't know the difference between an airplane and a peregrine falcon, and they'll cry out at the sight of aircraft.
PE #2 : Dogs. Non-hunting dogs usually don't cause a problem if they're yours; aggressive or hunting dogs should probably be kept separate. Generally, your dogs will want to please you and not eat what they will recognize as your birds. Any foreign dogs should be kept away from the birds, as they won't be as keen on staying in your good graces.
PE#3 : Cats : If you have cats, they probably will leave your birds alone for the same reasons that your dogs will. They will also keep alien cats away. Cats that aren't yours may attack, so again, keep the chickens cooped most of the time. However, many larger chickens can beat up the average cat.
***
There you have it -- the short beans on how to use chicken power to make your life more efficient and your agriculture more productive. It might seem like a big step, and it's a different bag for sure. The benefits to your crops are substantial, and controlling all the inputs that go into your eggs, and saving bread on them, is a serious win in the battle to take back your food supply. And, of course, chicks dig it.
---
This piece was drawn largely from the lectures on urban chicken raising presented by Rachel Bess and Myron Mykyta at the Phoenix Permaculture Guild in late 2008. (65,178)
My financial statement for the fourth quarter 2008 came in the mail today. The awkwardly long envelope contained, at least on the face of it, grave news to the effect that very many dollars I'd been saving up and lending to dough-faced bankers as speculative bets, and which I'd never handled myself or considered moving anywhere but existed only on paper as a kind of sigil of optimistic forward-gazing shrewdness, had been swept out to the choppy waters of gambling oblivion, along with those of other American saps who hadn't seen the storm coming soon enough to get out of the 'market' before it was too late and the winds of volatility had already whipped everyone into a stinging loss position.
Just as talking frankly and in advance of the need about hospice plans, living wills, and headstone inscriptions surprisingly doesn't cool the surprise of molten grief when a loved one dies, no amount of spiky chattering about the stupid, destructive nature of speculative gambling on stocks can compare with the raw, wealing sting of holding in one's hand the hard copy proof of failure and waste. I was taken off my guard by this feeling. As I began to open the envelope, I thought "well, this will really demonstrate that betting on stocks is stupid and will make me realize that I'm pinning my hopes of old-age comfort on the acumen and integrity of the same moral carrion that I despised in college. Too bad; at least I'm ready for it." When my eyes settled on the column that plainly stated the degree of loss, though, I sucked in a sharp acid breath and felt the paralytic tongue of dread slide up my spinal cord. It was real and true. I had taken a bunch of money and handed it over to shiny-chinned tonguechewers who passed it around to their buddies to be toyed with and lost, like an action figure accessory that disappears forever in the tall grass. Except that this wasn't a He-Man sword, but my 'retirement' savings.
Unhappily for me, I didn't come to understand the terrible farce of fractional-reserve banking and the pathetic Reno coke fantasy of the stock market as security blanket until after the sickening downward lurch had wiped out several percent of my paper wealth already. Those who had a better grip on the connection between consumer debt securities and their 401(k)s divested some months ago and bought things that have durable value. For the average chump though, putting your retirement money into a stock fund was simply what one does, and we knew from listening to our so-called financial advisors that, over the long term, price inflation and their market wizardry would beat out volatility and we'd come out way on top, with plenty of cash on hand at age 70 to play pinochle on sandy beaches with gilded colostomy bags under our Ferragamo belts. 'Cashing out' was widely equated in level of wisdom with canoodling chancre-lipped Russian blondes or playing jacks in the middle of the freeway.
It seems obvious now that it'd have been smarter to take one's dollars off the poker table about this time last year and, I dunno, build an igloo out of it or something. Trouble is, cash is problematic as well. Especially fiat currency like the dollar, which backed by nothing but the hope that the US Government will remain solvent. Not only does this money have no real intrinsic value, but when its supply is increased by 'printing money' as is the sudden policy of the Federal reserve bank, its value can drop rapidly and we get our second-fave German export after kugel, hyperinflation. Then there's the whole issue of being addicted to the teat of cash, which is a symptom of slavery.
Nowhere on the planet does the unsettling dependency on hard currency better manifest itself than here in Cake City. We citizens can't do anything at all without forking over some bread. We like to pay for stuff, and it seems impossible to go a day without shelling out serious dough. Especially when it comes to leisure -- nothing delights a Cake Citizen more than handing over enough money to buy 200 rounds of good ammunition or feed a family of four for a week, just for the privilege of playing golf on some huge, stinking lawn. We pay sweaty white teenagers to park our cars and pay Mexicans to trim our poison oleanders. We pay people to make our sandwiches and pay old rummies to fix our guitars. We pay gasoline and car companies to go to the vast grocery store so that we can pay for our arugula and Wheat Thins and especially for our 'microbrewed' beers. The pattern here is that we can't do things for ourselves, so we find someone who can do it and pay them, which creates a need for us to amass more cash so that we can pay the next guy. Since we have plenty of idle time because we're paying other folks to live our lives, we spend it pawing through magazines and padding through the Internet, looking for new fleeting fancies to spend yet-unearned cash on.
The problem with this arrangement, apart from the fact that it quickly erodes our own skills and leads to the heartbreak of laziness, is that it requires a constant and ever-increasing inflow of money. This is what leads to the condition of modern American slavery -- we're indentured to employers or other parties who control us by controlling our cash supply. Since we pay other people for practically everything in our lives, a sudden disruption in the cash flow can have grave effects. The practical disadvantage here is that we can't do as we please, or even as we think best, because we can't 'afford' to interrupt the money stream; for this reason, we forgo opportunities to do many important and productive things in fearful effort of merely maintaining. We hope intensely that by this sacrifice of chances to better ourselves and strengthen our families though new experience, our 'lifestyle' and 'future' will be somehow assured and secured.
When this hope is dashed by market volatility or just regular stupidity, those whose concept of self-worth and future is bound up with their account balance can experience grave effects. The sad and predictable list of international paper-gamblers who ended their own lives in response to that nasty fourth quarter is a powerful illustration of the danger of equating oneself with some figures that only exist on a computer screen or a slip of paper. Hell, at this rate, people are going to start taking hemlock whenever 'Dilbert' isn't funny.
The slave-piper Bernard Madoff is going to the slammer if he doesn't join the ranks of the stupid dead, but he should be awarded a medal for acting as an alarm that put folks on notice that speculative betting on stocks and securities is for suckers. Period. Trust has long been the currency of the weak and aimless; the fact that his 'Ponzi scheme' ran for decades undetected shows that there's no difference at all between a basic con and the idiot's carnival shell-game that is speculation 'investing.' Madoff has done for fund managers and financial advisors what John Wayne Gacy did for clowns and the Serpent did for snakes. Now, people should know better than to ever trust one of the blighters.
Warren Buffett used to like to say that 'cash is trash.' Of course, he meant that everybody should take their dollars and give them all to him so that he could spin his global Roulette wheel, but he has a point : modern fiat currency has no real value, and isn't worth becoming a slave to. It should be converted into something with real value -- such as education and tools, like John Pugsley suggests. Or houses, guitars, or old Impressions records. Something that's not at the mercy of fickle and moronic bettors or value-sapping banks. We need to figure out a way to prepare for old age that doesn't depend blindly on the outcome of poorly-informed bets made by dumb old guys who listen to Sting.
Before we can start planning for the Shuffleboard years, though, we'd better figure out how to live right now. Part of this is learning how to avoid paying people to do stuff you can do yourself. By starting on this, we can begin to wean ourselves off the paycheck-to-paycheck cash hooter and get some control. As we're learning in the Urban Agriculture series , getting a grip on our food supply is a powerful first step. In our next installment, we find that the road to self-reliance is paved with... eggshells. That's right, we're going to explore the strangely sensible world of urban chicken raising.
The alarm that rung was the most shrill, expensive one I've ever heard, and it really made for a tense, crummy morning. I'm glad it got sounded, though -- now that the old norms and myths about how to plan one's life have been exposed as hogwash and we're done selling ourselves to useless carny vampires, we can confront the inadequacy of hope and square up hard and sure with the actual. (66,542)
Pollination of crops is achieved variously by insects, birds, and wind, according to plant species. Some plants can be helped by hand-pollination, but this is a very time-consuming process and works poorly on many plant varieties. The most simple and effective way to improve overall pollination rates (and therefore, yield) for a multi-crop system such as is encouraged in permaculture design and self-supporting gardens is to introduce and / or augment the population of bees.
Bee populations have been in general decline in recent years, and this is cause for alarm. It's not yet clear what factor or group of factors is mostly responsible for the precipitous drop in bee numbers, but it is clear that the self-supporting food producer and the casual gardener alike must do what they can to draw bees to their crops, and encourage them to stay around and reproduce.
Planting flowers favored by local bee species is part of the solution; check with your local department of agriculture to find out about native bee species and the flowers they prefer. The other best tactic for improving pollination with bees is to provide housing for them. The keeping of honey bees is a valuable and rewarding endeavor, but requires a significant time and effort commitment, along with the hassle of potential stings. In areas that are naturally favorable to solitary (nonsocial) wood-boring bees such as the 'orchard mason bee,' however, there is an easy, maintenance-free, and stingless solution.
Wood "Mason" bees have no sting and are solitary, which means that they don't build hives or make honey. Instead, they live in holes that they chew in wood. They are effective pollinators, require virtually no upkeep, and can't hurt humans. We can attract and retain these helpful and stingless bees by constructing a simple 'bee block,' which is a piece of wood with holes already started for the bees, and mounting it in an appropriate spot in our cultivation area. Arizona, Carolina, and many other states naturally host these bees, along with a great deal of places outside the United States. Contact your local department of agriculture to see if these bees inhabit your area.
The 'bee block' is a simple construction. All we need to build one is some untreated wood of at least 50 millimeter depth (~2 inches) at at least 100 millimeters (~4 inches) in height; width can be anything 50 mm or over. It is essential that the wood be untreated, or bees will avoid it. Wider (and taller) bee blocks will attract and house more bees. Tools are fasteners and a drill with 4mm and 6mm bits.
Assembly your bee block by fastening together the wood to be used. If you have a solid wood block that is as wide as you want the bee-block to be when finished, you can skip the fastening step. Strong carpenters' staples or brackets and nails can be used; do not use glue.
When the desired width has been attained, drill a series of holes about halfway through the block, spaced in a grid pattern about 19 millimeters (3/4 of an inch) apart. To improve probability that more than one bee species will be attracted to your block, drill 1/2 to 3/4 of the block with 4mm holes and the remaining space with 6mm holes.
After the blocks are fastened and the holes drilled, attach a sloping roof to the block in order to partially shade the entrance of the holes from the sun and sluice rainwater off the top of the block.
Most bees prefer a bee block that is hung in a sunny area, so hang yours in a spot that is in the sun most of the day. It's not known at present whether this is because they prefer sunny conditions outside their home or because they can more easily find block in well-lit areas. If you want to hedge your bee bet, you can make another block and place it in a shadier place.
After the block is hung, you need do nothing but wait for the bees to arrive. Again, planting flowers favored by your local bees will help in the initial attraction. Check the block once in a while to assess the occupancy rate. A hole covered or partially covered by the typical mixture of wood pulp and bee saliva is the sign of occupancy.
Common occupancy rates can range as high as eight bees per bee-block hole, giving us as many as 800 active bees from a 100-hole bee block.
This simple addition to your growing environment can bring considerable improvement in crop yield through improved pollination, with very little effort or maintenance. Attracting these bees will benefit not only your crops, but the health of your entire neighborhood ecosystem. After the bee population is established, spend a little time observing their flight patterns and use this knowledge to adjust next crop placement to achieve the desired effect (for example, improving pollination of a given crop by planting along the ‘bee line’ or controlling unwanted cross-pollination by placing plants of the same family but different species away from the same bee line).
Enjoy your bees and the benefits they bring, tell your buddies about them, and promote self-reliance through food raising for all!
Note on bees and cold climates :
Bees can thrive in nearly any climate. For example, the long summer and ample supply of fireweed has produced a healthy honeybee industry in Alaska since the Russians brought bees over in the early 1900s. More common than wood bees in cold climates are bumble, 'sweat,' and 'digger' bees, all of which nest in the ground. The cold-climate beekeeper should encourage soil-burrowing bees by identifying local species and planting the appropriate flower species (for example, bumblebees are particularly attracted to the lupine flower).
Depending on the species, bees in cold climates may migrate, may flat-out die (except for their queen, if social) or may 'winter.' Helping bees with wintering is done through a few simple steps :
1) Wrapping the hive or block : You'll want to give the bees some extra insulation, such as wax-impregnated cardboard, Styrofoam, or the Reflectix (mylar/foam sandwiched material) to decrease their need for food by means of keeping them warm. Bees literally shiver to stay warm in winter, so it's in the keeper's interest to promote their warmth.
2) Reduce the number of entrances to the hive if applicable. This applies primarily to honeybees, but if you have a block with unoccupied holes, cover them during winter. This step limits predation and 'robbing,' and eases bee comfort.
3) Open an entrance at the top of the hive, if applicable. This is to facilitate the escape of water vapor from the hive and convenience for bees to take flights as needed, for example to remove dead bees. This is not a rmajor concern for solitary wood 'mason' bees, but some advocate drilling additional holes in your bee-block toward the top (and cover with a slightly raised roof) to allow ventilation.
4) Be prepared for heavy bee attrition. Colony / hive bees lose 60% or more of their population in winter no matter what you do. Try not to choke up as you pick their dead bee bodies out of the snow. Also be aware that dead hive bees can pile up in commercial drawer-style hive, in the bottom drawer, blocking the bottom entrances. Empty these dead bees to prevent a hazard. This factor points up that it is usually wiser to encourage native bee species than attempt to cultivate imported bees.
Addendum regarding wasps :
Beware of wasps, several wood-boring species of which exist and can be a general nuisance with painful stings. Some wasps (those of the Sapygid, Mutillid and Tiphiid families, and some Sphecid wasps known as “Bee-Wolves”) prey on bees or are bee parasites. Sometimes a wasp will take occupancy inside a bee-block. Wasps are pollinators just like bees are, but their lack of body fuzz makes them much less efficient than bees. Most wasps will not attack humans unless disturbed, but some can be aggressive.
If you see a wasp entering your bee-block, you can choose to let it be or you can try to get rid of it. If you want to make it gone, you can either attempt to evict it yourself, or call a professional pest control operator. Note that we do not recommend or advise that you attempt to evict a wasp or wasps yourself, as they can be aggressive. However, those that choose to do so have had some success with the following method :
-Wait until nightfall and hold a flashlight on one hand for illumination. Wasps are less active at night.
-Fill a syringe or small spray bottle with a solution of one part isopropyl (rubbing) alcohol to nine parts water (1:9 solution)
-Wearing full protection (long sleeves and trousers, gloves, hat and face shield), approach the bee-block and positively identify the hole or holes occupied by the invading wasp(s).
-Taking great care not to get any solution on neighboring holes occupied by good bees, spray the alcohol solution directly on, or if possible, in the wasp hole(s). This will kill the wasp(s) after a few minutes.
-Carefully remove the dead wasp or wasps if practical, and allow the alcohol to evaporate. Do not excessively jostle the bee-block.
-Fill the contaminated hole with a screw slightly larger than the diameter of the hole and be sure that it is securely fastened. This is to prevent any bees from trying to use that hole and being poisoned by any remaining residue.
Many permaculturists, who generally try to avoid struggling with nature, will choose to live with the invading wasps as long as they don’t become overly aggressive or eliminate many bees. (48,982)
Like Jack in 'Sideways,' we're an infant - at least as regards our ability to look after ourselves in a real and substantial way. If we're going to get our sovereignty back, we like the bambino must first learn how to feed ourselves.
Food matters, big time. Most crucially, it's what we choose to use as fuel and building material for our bodies. Nearly as importantly, it's a major component of our cultural and social reality. No factor is as crucial to our bodily and mental health as food security -- reliable access to nutritious food.
Food can be transformed in numerous ways, but ultimately all food comes from the ground -- the soil. The food chain starts with that which grows in the ground, and much what we eat comes directly from the dirt. Everything that is in our food was once in the soil, chemically speaking. It follows, then, that anything we put in our soil will end up in our food.
This last fact, coupled with expense and ecological factors, makes plain that for best health and nutrition, we want our soil to be free of poisons. Poisons, as we understand them here, include among other things all chemical and synthetic toxins such as pesticides, herbicides, and artificial fertilizers.
How, though, are we to raise an adequate amount of food for serious self-support without the use of 'fertilizers.' especially in harsh climates?
Organic, self-produced compost is the answer. Compost that we make ourselves, controlling all inputs and results, gives our crops the nutrients they need in abundance, while freeing us from chemical residues created by commercial fertilizers. Compost is so effective at increasing crop yield that it has earned the sobriquet ‘brown gold.’
With a properly-implemented composting plan, we can raise really substantial amounts of our own food without much delay. Here's the scoop, starting with a brief overview and FAQ :
- What is compost and what benefits does it provide? -
-Compost is organic matter that has fully decomposed, becoming a uniform dark, microbially-active but non-toxic, soil component material that is much like the soil type known as 'humus.'
-Compost, when added to soil, acts as an addition of live matter that promotes plant growth.
-Composting recycles spent plants back to the soil
-Compost, with its active microbe communities, attracts beneficial worms that aerate the soil, promoting root growth and good water drainage
-Compost buffers excessive sodium content -- a common problem in many arid and depleted regions
-Compost provides high-density nutrients to plants
-Compost protects plant root systems from heat and cold, and fortifies entire plant against the elements by means of better nutrition
-This same nutrition, combined with the microbial community it brings and the underground ecosystem is engenders, protects crops from disease.
-Compost application is very effective at balancing the pH of soil, quickly bringing it to the 6.4 to 6.8 range that is ideal for cultivation of food. This is of great value in areas with harsh, alkali soil, such as deserts.
-The application of sufficient compost completely eliminates the need to till the soil. Eliminating tilling altogether dramatically improves soil health.
- Are mulch and compost the same thing?
- -No. Mulch is relatively large-sized chunks of relatively dry organic material (for example, wood chips) whose primary functions are to improve water drainage, to protect soil from harsh sun and cold, and to choke out weeds by denying them sun. Its secondary function is to help clay-heavy soils become more permeable to root systems, which occurs as mulch breaks down. Some mulch is partially decomposed when delivered, some is not. Mulch, added to a compost batch as a ‘carbon input’, will become compost over time. Note that there exist products known as ‘plastic mulch,’ which are bits of plastic marketed for use as mulch. These are harmful to your growing environment, will not break down, and should be avoided. Beware also of mulch that may be covered in insecticides, such as commercial landscaping byproducts.
- What tools do we need to start composting right now? -
-A bucket for the compost material
-A shovel to spread and stir the compost
-A pair of clippers for getting raw materials like branches down to compostable size
-A long-stemmed thermometer ("compost thermometer")
-Compost screen -- you can make this yourself in minutes
-A dust mask or respirator
-Other useful but nonessential equipment includes a wheelbarrow, chipper / shredder, blender, gloves both rubber and leather, and pitchfork.
-What are the popular methods of composting?
There are three major methods of composting. Each requires a correct balance of raw materials (more on this later), regular turning / agitation, and monitoring of the internal temperature of the compost as it breaks down.
1) The Pile Method : This is where you simply layer your raw organic materials into a pile in a specified place and allow it to decompose in the open. This method is popular but can be susceptible to weed germination and pests within the pile, and can be unsightly.
2) The Bin Method : Construct a wooden bin from scrap wood, old pallets, or drill aeration holes in a 30 gallon rubbish can. This method offers more control than the pile method.
3) The 'In-Vessel' Method : where a closed, rotating vessel known as a 'Compost Tumbler' or 'Compost Drum' is used. These can be bought commercially or made with some effort. The advantages of this method are considerable convenience of agitation and material addition, and nearly complete protection from weeds and pests.
-What raw materials should I use?
-We need a proper ratio of two classes of materials in our compost :
1) "Carbon inputs" - this means dried brown material like dry leaves, wood chips, and clippings
2) "Nitrogen inputs" - this means green and / or moist material such as green plant and grass waste, discarded fruit and vegetable material, coffee grounds, and manure
NOTE : the proper ratio is 25 carbon to 1 nitrogen by weight, which works out in practice to about 1 : 1 (half and half) by volume.
-What must I avoid composting for use on food crops?
-Dog, cat, and other predator manure -- these can carry persistent pathogens
-Castor and oleander products -- these materials contain persistent toxins
-Pine needles in high quantity -- these contain a persistent natural herbicide.
-So what manure is OK to compost?
-Cow (as opposed to steer) manure is best, and has properties that in practice appear to protect against certain plant diseases, such as dollar spot disease and sweet basil wilt.
-If cow manure is unavailable, look for horse manure. Horse manure is available from stables and, as a bonus, comes with straw (so you get both nitrogen and carbon inputs from one source)
-Avoid steer manure - this contains harmful amounts of sodium -- this includes all commercial manures
-Be aware that if your manure comes from animals which are fed non-organic diets and / or treated with chemicals, certain of these residues may remain in your compost. See addendum on bioremediation for details on how to mitigate this factor.
- What exactly is going on in my compost bin?
-What's happening is the biological process of decomposition, which converts solid and liquid waste into a stable, humus-like product. This is acheived through the action of bacteria. There are three types of bacteria :
-Aerobic : bacteria that need oxygen to live
-Anaerobic : bacteria that can thrive without oxygen - such as those inside your stomach
-Facultative : bacteria which can adapt to either condition
We want to encourage the action and propagation of aerobic bacteria in our compost, because this type of bacteria is best at controlling the odors of decomposition. This is done by regular agitation (mixing) of the compost as it decomposes.
-Why do I need to take the temperature of my compost every day?
-There are two reasons for this :
1) To be sure that your compost is achieving what is known as the 'thermophilic temperature range' - 114 to 160 Fahrenheit degrees. This is essential for the elimination of pathogens, pests, and weed seeds from your compost. If your compost doesn't get this hot at its core, it's not properly decomposing.
2) To judge when the compost is 'done' -- this is when it returns to the low end of a temperature bell curve.
-The heat described here is caused by the action of living microbes as they go about consuming and processing the composted material.
-If your compost isn’t getting into the proper heat range, that means that your carbon / nitrogen (“C/N”) balance is off target.
Understanding Carbon / Nitrogen Ratio and Temperature
If your C/N ratio isn’t close to the recommended 25:1 (by weight) mark, your compost will not break down properly. If there is too much carbon input in the mix, you will see very slow decomposition rates. If there is too much nitrogen input, you will detect an ammonia smell coming from your compost container. Note : Compost should not create unpleasant odors! If your compost stinks, mix it up and add more carbon inputs.
The temperature of your compost will rise and fall on a bell curve over the processing time of the batch. From the starting temperature, it should gradually climb to 114 to 160 Fahrenheit, and then begin a gradual decline back to near the starting temperature. Because we rely on the action of aerobic bacteria for this progress, it is important to aerate (turn) the compost regularly, up to once per day but at least twice a week. This is how we introduce oxygen to the aerobic organisms that need it. If you are using the pile or bin method, use your shovel or pitchfork to turn each batch; if you have a compost tumbler, you simply turn the crank.
Be sure to stick the stem of your stainless-steel compost thermometer into the very center of your compost batch to ensure an accurate reading, and take the temperature every day.
It is important to keep the average size of the particles in your compost batch small to encourage speedy decomposition – this is where the chipper/shredder (balance horsepower with cost according to your needs when selecting these) and blender can come in handy. The smaller your starting particles are, the more easily they will be processed by the bacterial action. Smaller particles are also easier to store – note that you can store carbon and nitrogen inputs separately in plastic rubbish containers for future use, and it is wise to do so.
In addition to being properly oxygenated, each compost batch must be properly hydrated. The proper moisture level of the compost batch should approximate that of a wrung-out sponge; there should be no standing water. Standing water will attract pests and insects – if you detect excess water in your compost batch, add more dry inputs. Typical sources for moisture in your compost will be green nitrogen inputs such as plant trimmings, household waste (non-animal-product food scraps) that has been blended with water, and ‘compost tea,’ the making of which is described in the addendum.
You can add water directly as necessary, being careful not to overwater, but beware! Do not use water direct from a tap or garden hose unless you have a whole-house filtration system. The chlorine added to municipal water will quickly kill the bacteria you need for successful compost and leave you with a soggy, inactive waste mass. Chlorine also combines with other compounds in compost to produce harmful methane molecules. If you have no filtration system available, you can put water in a watering can and allow it to sit outside for 24 hours before using it – this will cause all the chlorine in the water to evaporate. De-chlorinating filters are also available, which attach to faucets and hoses.
When the compost batch returns to the bottom of the bell curve, decomposition is complete and the batch is ready to use. Take care! If you do not wait until the compost is ‘done’ and at the bottom of the curve (that is, until the bacteria are done processing), the active and voracious bacteria will eat the seedlings you’ve planted. Waiting until your compost has completed its thermal bell curve is known as ‘resting to maturity.’ A well-executed, efficient compost batch will go from start to finish in about two weeks; less efficient batches will take longer.
Understanding the Role of Manure
Manure can be a helpful and inexpensive addition to your compost batch. It’s important to understand the nature and role of manure before deploying it, however, to avoid potential serious problems.
-Manure is animal waste. As noted above, only cow (not steer or commercial) and horse manure are acceptable among mammal wastes. Chicken and other bird manure is also good for composting. Cow manure has properties as an antifungal compost additive and a unique complement of nutrients, and is therefore widely sought.
-Rule #1 : Never apply raw manure directly to your soil. This is a grave error made by many, from commercial farms to home gardeners. Direct application of raw manure to soil has the following negative effects :
-Raw manure contains numerous pathogens that will be passed on to your crop – potentially a deadly situation in the case of vegetables like leafy greens that grow low to the earth. One has only to recall the recent salmonella outbreaks to understand the gravity of this problem.
-Raw manure contains weed seeds that you likely do not want to introduce into your growing environment.
-Raw manure contains high concentrations of nitrogen that can cause ‘nitrogen burn,’ wherein the plant uptakes a harmful amount of the element and suffers what is in effect chemical burn, and ‘junkie plant syndrome,’ wherein a plant will get ‘high’ after the first application of raw manure, growing rapidly, and then ‘crash,’ wearing out and withering rapidly before producing a substantial harvest. Both of these effects substantially reduce your yield and biologically damage your plants.
Worms and Composting
Worms are basic to healthy soil. Their action is to consume microbes and small material and leave behind nutrient-rich ‘castings’ – this is not considered to be raw manure and can be applied directly to soil if desired. When in soil, the worms also aerate the ground, allowing roots to more easily penetrate (essential in areas like Arizona with hard clay-rich soil) and water to drain and distribute. Worms from the nematode and annelid families are both needed for healthy soil, and annelids such as nightcrawlers can be cultivated. Commercial ‘worm hotels’ are offered by many companies, and a side-science of ‘vermiculture’ has grown up around this activity. Generally speaking, vermiculture involves growing many worms at once, in a contained system that allows their castings to be easily obtained (usually in trays). These worms can be added to the soil to continue their work.
It is possible to attract considerable numbers of worms to even arid soils without the need for expensive vermiculture set-ups. This is done through the practice of ‘cold composting.’
Cold composting is the addition of blended, hydrated carbon and nitrogen inputs, most often in the form of non-animal kitchen wastes blended with water, directly into the soil without the step of allowing them to first decompose through microbial action. These blended wastes are put in a shallow depression dug in the ground and then covered with soil, each application in a different spot. Worms are attracted to this ‘cold compost’ from far beneath the surface of the ground and will quickly make their way to the upper soil layers to consume this treat, bringing with them all their benefits of aeration and castings. When cold composting, remember to clip all scraps to a small size before blending, and to dig a new hole for each batch of cold compost. This can be done daily, with great effect coming from little effort.
Screening Your Compost
In order to maximize the effectiveness of your composting effort, make or buy a compost screen and use it with a wheelbarrow. The way that this is done is by building a simple wooden frame of two-by-fours to a size that will sit closely in the opening of your wheelbarrow, securing half-inch steel mesh across the frame, and shaking and raking your compost through it with a trowel before applying compost to your cultivation area. The chunks that don’t fall through the screen into your wheelbarrow are not fully broken down and can be added back to your next compost batch to ‘finish.’ A finish of boiled linseed oil will improve the durability of your compost screen. It’s also possible to build a rotary screen by cutting out panels from a large plastic bucket, covering the panels with screen, and adding a loading gate and hand crank similar to those on a compost tumbler. Once built, this method makes for rapid screening.
Applying compost
Compost should be applied directly to your planting beds before seeding, and then regularly around the crop rows. There can never be too much compost in your cultivation area, so apply liberally. If you manage to generate more compost than you can use in one application, it will keep for a long time in a covered plastic barrel or bin.
Composting and your climate
Those of us who live in climates that are warm year-round can enjoy an uninterrupted composting cycle throughout the year. Those who live where cold temperatures are common and freezing often occurs, however, will be faced with a compost cycle limited by the seasons. It does no harm to leave compost and compost inputs out in the cold, but it simply won’t produce finished product until it’s warm enough to achieve the 114-160 degree temperature range at its core.
Compost will not decompose much during the wintery months in temperate and colder zones. The producer has a choice to either :
1) Compost only when it is warm enough to do so outside
2) Move the composting process indoors, such as in a garage or unused room, during the winter.
Since properly-done composting does not generate offensive odors, we advocate the practice of indoor composting in cold winters. This can either provide a substantial store of compost to be applied in the spring, or provide compost for continuing indoor container gardening. Since compost will keep for months, there is no need to worry about an apparent excess.
Conclusion and end notes
Composting is the way for us to rapidly take control of our food supply by greatly increasing our crop yield and re-using our food waste. As we’ll see in better detail later in this series, the best way for the new food raiser to get a jumpstart is to apply compost and mulch in layers of equal depth directly to the crop area with no tilling, and to plant directly in this, according to season. With good compost, costly and ultimately damaging chemical fertilizers are made obsolete, along with tiresome and time-consuming digging and tilling. With the knowledge presented here and the right inputs, the novice food producer can begin planting within a few short weeks, and can start producing poison-free food and look forward to an expeditious trip down the road to self-reliance. It will be beneficial to the new food raiser to record the data about their endeavors, such as inputs used, daily temperatures, and total length of processing for each batch; in this way, one can learn the most effective methods for their own environs and resources. More information about the actual planting and cultivation process will be presented as this series unfolds. For now, begin collecting inputs and start that compost batch!
Addendum : Bioremediation and ‘Compost Tea’
Most people in the industrialized world live on land that has been subject to the ravages of commercial urban horticulture (landscaping, which tends to use a lot of insecticides and herbicides) or ‘factory farming’ (which also uses chemical fertilizers). What goes into your soil goes into your food, and subsequently into your body when you eat that food. Therefore, the presence of these industrial residues, along with whatever unintentional pollution may exist in your soil (for example, motor oil dumping, waste from mills that has seeped into soil, etc) is troubling for the food raiser.
One way to partially mitigate the effects of these toxins that are in your soil through no fault of your own is to employ a strategy known as ‘bioremediation.’ This is a term that means the use of microorganisms to neutralize chemical toxins – a biological remedy. The technique is used extensively by governments in the cleanup of ecological disasters like oil spills, and can be employed by the self-maintaining food producer as well.
The basic idea is to identify microbes that consume toxins, cultivate them in quantity, and spread a liquid solution containing them across the area that is affected by chemical pollution. The microbes work through the soil, consuming and neutralizing the toxic chemicals.
The government uses classified blends of microbes to achieve its ends, but the private citizen has other options available. The two most popular are the purchase of commercial ‘effective microorganisms’ and the making of ‘compost tea.’
‘Effective microorganisms’ is a trademarked term that generally refers to a specific commercial product, available for sale online. This product is a suspension of a proprietary blend of microbes in a water and molasses solution. The manufacturer contends that the organisms offered in this product can ‘bioremediate’ a wide range of toxins. If one chooses to buy this product, one need buy it only once – these microbes are like yeast and can be propagated indefinitely by adding more molasses and water to the solution as it’s used. Also, we recommend ignoring the ‘expiration’ or ‘use by’ dates on the package, for the same reason. Unless left in the sun or otherwise killed, these organisms will keep and reproduce indefinitely, similar to the behavior of a sourdough starter. The commercial preparation is diluted with water and sprayed directly onto the affected soil.
‘Compost tea,’ simply, is what is produced when a cloth bag of compost is suspended in a barrel of filtered water and ‘brewed’ for 48 hours, preferably in the sun. The resulting liquid is certainly rich in nutrients and helpful bacteria and can be added as an enriching amendment directly to crop areas or compost batches. Proponents of this ‘tea’ often employ it as a bioremediation tool, claiming that the microbes present in the average compost tea batch are similar to those in the commercial preparation, work effectively to neutralize toxins, and can be produced by the grower at little cost (whereas the commercial preparation is very costly).
More research into bioremediation of agricultural soil, particularly for the urban food producer, is urgently needed. Better and more widely-informed science on this subject will go a long way in helping the food producers large and small achieve higher yields of less-toxic crops.
Whichever method you choose, it is wise for anyone growing their own food to apply one of these preparations to their soil before beginning the initial growing process. In addition, if using inputs from non-organic or non-poison-free sources such as non-organic cow / horse manure, or grass clippings and tree trimmings from around the neighborhood, it is advisable to add bioremediation solutions to your compost container to neutralize toxic residues. Unless you have a full laboratory at your disposal, you won’t be able to truly gauge the effectiveness of your bioremediation efforts. Therefore, it’s best to use only organic inputs for your compost when you have the option. There is a mounting body of anecdotal evidence, however, that these solutions can be effective in rehabilitating land tainted by chemical inputs and polluting residues, making food grown in that soil less toxic to consume. There will be more information presented later in this series about the concentration of soil toxins within the food produced. Suffice to say that bioremediation of our soil before planting is a low-cost bet that it makes sense to take.
Acknowledgement : A large part of the information presented here is taken from the lecture “Composting in the Southwest Desert,” by master gardener and writer Jim Muir, as presented on 11-13-2008. (57,718)
As I mention in my upcoming essay "The Inadequacy of Hope," the condition of slavery that we find ourselves in -- that is, that we cannot do as we wish and can't live free from coercion by others -- is rooted in a basic fact. To wit, we have been trained to stake our survival on external sources, from employers to food supply chains, and are therefore in bond to those sources. The spigot of this terrible reality spray is the view that human institutions were created for the purpose of and can be trusted to secure for the individual results that are beneficial, and furthermore to distribute those results in an efficient manner. We are so convinced that these institutions can take care of our needs better than we ourselves can, that we have surrendered our sovereignty to them. Even when they fail, we hope that they will right themselves so that we can be in their good care again soon.
This dependency and subsequent self-sale into servitude occurred as a direct result of our appetite for a single commodity : convenience. Our thirst for convenience and its brother, portable money currency as a store of wealth, proved to be so unquenchable that when we were offered a bargain wherein we would be able to live without ever really seeing personally to any of our basic human needs such as food, shelter, defense, or sanitation, but would as a result become utterly dependent on and enslaved to the entities we allow to see to those needs for us, we opted in without a thought.
We're slaves. We can't even escape our bonds by running : if I successfully sneak away to some other place now, I'll still be as unable to live without a steady stream of currency, food created and transported by someone else, and shelter created and maintained by someone else that if any of these supplies were to be substantially interrupted, my life would likely be in real danger.
This arrangement, in the pithy words of Rodney Dangerfield, sucks.
There is a potential way to break the Marley chains of modern institutional dependency, this new slavery I've described :
First, we must abandon the hope that these institutions will ever truly deliver to us what we need and desire in a way that remains efficient and also keeps us free.
Second, we must quickly and effectively learn real ways to achieve practical self-reliance.
This task is huge and daunting, as the knowledge of self-sufficiency that was held and exercised by a very large percentage of Americans not much more than a century ago has been evaporated from the popular mind by decades of nonuse, and even if we could instantly revive that knowledge base, it would be sorely lacking in relevance to our modern world.
The truth is that we need to develop a fresh body of methods for self-reliance that make good sense for our current reality.
The easiest first step toward freedom from institutional slavery in the modern world is to be able to reject the industrial food supply chain that controls what we eat and when we eat it. That is, we should learn how to grow and produce our own food.
The articles I'll present on food-raising here are drawn in large part from the excellent classes offered by the Phoenix Permaculture Guild. I've provided notes for each piece on adapting the tactics presented to various climates. Let's take ourselves back, starting with sovereignty over our own physical frames and the food we feed on. (46,042)
Here’s another installment in the lead-up to Dr. Daniel R_e’s mind-opening series on nutrition and poison foods.
I’ve been a food freak for as long as I can remember. I love eating food, cooking food, and learning about food. I’m in the process of training to grow my own food. I’ll eat darn near anything except lima beans and Rocky Mountain oysters*. I have certain favorite dishes that I seek out in every place I can, and really dig comparing notes on various restaurants with other chow fanatics. For example, between 1995 and 2005, I ate dozens of Reuben sandwiches, ordering them in many states at every joint I visited that featured them on the menu, searching for the ultimate. [Pro tip : the grand winner was and remains Chompie’s ‘Grandpa Ruby’s Reuben’ – nonpareil, and available in Tempe or Scottsdale.] Currently, I’m on a grilled cheese safari that started in June of 2008. [Current point leader : Mile High Grill in Jerome, AZ]
Sounds like fun, huh? It is. But there’s a catch. Something else that I started in June is the transition from the poison to the Poison-Free Lifestyle ™ . For those not in the know, the Poison-Free Lifestyle™ is concerned primarily with excluding from one’s eating patterns such things as chemical additives like BHT, highly-processed ingredients such as modified corn starch, animal products that have been subject to the use of antibiotics, cannibal feed, or other nasty manipulation, and produce that has been grown with the addition of chemical pesticides or fertilizers. These excluded products are broadly construed as ‘poison’ for varying reasons. The chemical pesticides are kind of a no-brainer – those are literally poison, petrochemical compounds that you wouldn’t put in your mouth under any reasonable circumstances. Ditto known FDA-approved poisons like aspartame, which has been conclusively proven to be carcinogenic. The logic of excluding chemically modified and manipulated ingredients is a little more conceptual : even though eating pure modified corn starch or soy lecithin (for a terrifying and true account of how this stuff is produced, read the excellent and unbiased “Twinkie, Deconstructed”) hasn’t been proven to be harmful, the basis for rejecting it (and a great many other things that are hidden in the ingredient lists of nearly every item in the grocery store) is that it’s a food that’s twisted out of its basic form by processes that the consumer doesn’t understand and which involve harmful chemicals and is then tucked away into foods that you’d think would be perfectly free of weird synthetic ingredients without the consumer’s knowledge. Poison-Free eaters avoid these because a) the agents used in processing these ingredients are usually literal poisons, and we don’t trust manufacturer assertions that all the poisons ‘evaporate’ or are otherwise neutralized by the process end, and b) because we object on principle to having this chemical garbage snuck into our food in the first place and then told that it’s part of a wholesome and nutritious breakfast.
‘OK’, you say, ‘Good for you, champ-o, but what does this have to do with being a food freak or your grilled cheese quest?’ Here’s the nut. If one adheres strictly to the Poison-Free rule of “Read the label and don’t eat it unless you’re OK with every ingredient on there,” it’s nearly impossible to go eat at a restaurant and it just doesn’t make sense to eat at one. See, if restaurant food costs more than home-cooked food (which it always does – often by something like a factor or eight to ten), and at the same time, the restaurant food uses ingredients that are not poison-free (which very nearly all restaurants do), then it makes no sense to pay a huge premium to a restaurant for food that you wouldn’t pay for in a grocery store in the first place. Let me repeat that : it makes no sense to pay a premium in a restaurant for food that you’d reject for your home table as ‘poison.’
So why not, you ask, only go to poison-free restaurants? The answer is simple : because they are few, and the those that exist are generally lacking in menu, quality, service, vibe, or some combination of the above. When we go out to eat, it’s for pleasure, not to force a dry quinoa steak with patchouli sauce down our gullets while the bedreaded cook inadvertently shakes hair fragments and week-old cannabis seeds from his dome into our dessert. We want a delicious variety of food served competently in a place with a hip vibe.
OK, whiner, you reply, why not just stop going out and eat at home? Well, this is the obvious solution, but what fun is that? Sometimes, we just want to get out and chill with delicious food somewhere other than the domicile, hip as it may be. Also, it’s pretty hard to engage in safari behavior when you’re the one cooking the dang quarry, since by controlling every aspect of the production, you have a pretty good idea what the results will taste like.
The essential fact is that the problem is at present insoluble. We want to go out to eat often, but it’s illogical and bad form to pay someone to poison you. If one has kids, the folly is compounded. It’s impractical and annoying to demand to see the ingredient list for every item in every restaurant kitchen. We do seek out joints that are putatively poison-free, but they are so lacking in numbers that when one adjusts for the average “bad food, bad service, or just wack” restaurant-pool attrition, they might as well not exist at all.
What we’re doing right now is allowing ourselves a certain number of poison lunches or suppers pre month so that we can satisfy our restaurant addiction. This is a stupid solution, though, and we really feel the sting of stupidity when we drop $75 for a fancy dinner that is laden with high-fructose corn syrup, gross factory-farm dairy, and pesticide-dunked leafy greens. I don’t know how long we can keep acting like idiots in this way.
In a world where almost all commercial food products are chock-full of terrible manipulations and outright deadly poisons, and the thinking household really has to be careful and read the label of what they buy to eat if they want to avoid being dogs at the antifreeze puddle, where does the restaurant trade fit in? We go to restaurants because they have tasty food and cool atmosphere. But if the food is food that we wouldn’t eat if offered to us for free in another setting, much less pay for, how can we reasonably buy it from the restaurant? We can’t, that’s how. It’s dumb, stupid, and makes no sense.
To restauranteurs : you better get wise before we do, and start making sure, when you present that bill for a costly supper, that it doesn’t represent a Jonestown bargain. (37,247)
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