Daniel Roe
|
Poster: Daniel Roe @ Sun Apr 24, 2011 7:14 am
Uncle Sam: Here, have a monopoly on rating stuff.
S&P: Sounds good, here's a bunch of political donations, plus a bunch of our former employees/friends inundate your bureaucracy already; they'll be happy too.
Uncle Sam: You do realize what'll happen to our relationship if you cut our credit rating to reflect the fact that we're printing money and using it to raise demand for our own bonds, right?
S&P: I wouldn't think of it, honey. Here, have AAA even though inflation is already greater than the interest rate!
2001:
Uncle Sam: Hey, it'd make us happy if the economic numbers went up. In addition, a bunch of quasi-government institutions like Freddie/Fannie, and the Federal reserve could use a better ROI. Also, we're planning to print/spend/borrow at the highest rate ever. We still cool?
S&P: Of course, baby! You know you're the only one for me! Keep your AAA and we'll play along with the housing bubble you're trying to start! You know I'll always support you!
2010:
Uncle Sam: So now things are getting ridiculous. We've increased the money supply 8 fold and our deficit is growing at over 10% per year. Plus the GDP fell and those home-loan institutions are going belly-up. We can still count on you though, right?
S&P: Babe I think we need to talk about some things, I think my credibility as a ratings agency is a little shot at the moment, you might want to tone it down
Uncle Sam: Sure, Okay, get right on that
2011:
Uncle Sam: OOPS, my bad.
S&P: Jesus Christ! How the hell did you spend and print that much?! I don't even.... Okay. We've officially lost ALL credibility. We need to show we can halfway attempt to maybe sometimes recognize a bad deal when we see one. We'll keep you at AAA but we'll put the innocuous "With maybe the slightest bit of concern that maybe we'll have to not give the best rating ever" moniker on top.
Uncle Sam: YOU CHEATING BITCH! HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME!
(48,597)
|
Share
