Some of you may or may not know this but May is the month of the beef. That's right folks, National Beef Month. http://www.jg-tc.com/articles/2009/05/19/features/farm/doc4a135ee2942d9477518007.txt As you can see from the link there are many fascinating statistics about the beef industry as it relates to Illinois. They sure take pride in their beef, we should have a big beef parade in their state.
Hurray for beef month! The children sing songs of praise and slap big beef in each others faces. You know all true Americans would partake in a festive beef burger with all the mouth-watering fixings. Sorry non-meat eaters you aren't American.
But there is a villain amongst the celebration... http://www.kpho.com/health/19525483/detail.html It looms over like a plague and sweeps its bacterium into the soft meaty tissue of the finest ground beefs. E. coli 0157:H7. Engineered in the future and sent to the past, E. coli 0157:H7 has infused nano machines that accelerated and enhance the normal strain of E. coli to cause the worst mass anal bleeding to those who consume it. The White House classifies this a "Class One" recall on all beef. Eating this beef means you will have some really terrible anal bleeding and also eventually look like this: (56,170)
Occupation: Tactical Artist and Occasional Latewire Poster.
Interests: A full time engineer of panic, disorder and social chaos. Also a full time contractor of the Lord and dedicated Christian. Reads his Bible each week. Sacrifices children on the weekdays, but saves them for Jesus on the weekends. Has bi-monthly abortions while attending Pro-Life rallies. You know a typical guy, just doing my part for my country and Jesus.
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